Best Website
- In 2010 I was awarded "Best Website" for the NTU Pride project. Read More..
Media Student of the Year
- In 2006 I received this award for exceptional high standards in Media Studies. Read More..
Tweet
Social Media Takeover!
Posted on 01/09/10 at 18:25
It would be pointless if I said “Twitter and Facebook are everywhere” because we already know that, but the situation naturally arose today where I could ask one of my big Twitter followers (@mikeyworrall) about why he uses Twitter and what it brings to his online experience of social media.
Me: “So why do you use Twitter then Mikey?”
Mikey: “Erm.. Well originally it was so I could have more status updates because if you keep updating your Facebook, people think you’re sad!”
Me: “Oh really?”
Mikey: “Yeah, so by using Twitter, I could update my status more frequently if I wanted to and it didn’t matter. Now, however, because I have a lot more followers, it is easier to communicate with people who I wouldn’t do normally and maintain a strong connection with them”
Having checked my own Twitter later in the day, I noticed Mikey had updated his status, commenting that he was sitting in the park with me eating his lunch.
This short insight seems that maybe initial non-commercial users used Twitter to interact further with social media as Facebook’s openness with friends has become a pitfall of itself – enabling Twitter to excel in the micro-blogging / status update arena.
It’s also interesting to see how Twitter and Facebook can quite naturally occur in everyday conversation now. Whilst I was in the park, I heard several mentions of “Facebook” and some of the people I spent the day with mentioned how they had “an argument over Facebook! And now so and so has got involved too! So I don’t like her now”.
Social media has taken over. If you’re not on it, you’re not in it!
Posted on 01/09/10 at 18:25
It would be pointless if I said “Twitter and Facebook are everywhere” because we already know that, but the situation naturally arose today where I could ask one of my big Twitter followers (@mikeyworrall) about why he uses Twitter and what it brings to his online experience of social media.
Me: “So why do you use Twitter then Mikey?”
Mikey: “Erm.. Well originally it was so I could have more status updates because if you keep updating your Facebook, people think you’re sad!”
Me: “Oh really?”
Mikey: “Yeah, so by using Twitter, I could update my status more frequently if I wanted to and it didn’t matter. Now, however, because I have a lot more followers, it is easier to communicate with people who I wouldn’t do normally and maintain a strong connection with them”
Having checked my own Twitter later in the day, I noticed Mikey had updated his status, commenting that he was sitting in the park with me eating his lunch.
This short insight seems that maybe initial non-commercial users used Twitter to interact further with social media as Facebook’s openness with friends has become a pitfall of itself – enabling Twitter to excel in the micro-blogging / status update arena.
It’s also interesting to see how Twitter and Facebook can quite naturally occur in everyday conversation now. Whilst I was in the park, I heard several mentions of “Facebook” and some of the people I spent the day with mentioned how they had “an argument over Facebook! And now so and so has got involved too! So I don’t like her now”.
Social media has taken over. If you’re not on it, you’re not in it!
Struggling with Anxiety and Infidelity?
Posted on 28/08/10 at 14:36
As I sit here writing in the window of my modest flat in Nottingham, I am confronted by my reflection in the window and on my laptop screen. The bright sunshine is casting down on my open arms. I am wearing nothing but a black vest and shorts. My hair is undone and I have a 5-day-old beard on my face.
Stuck between the stereotypes of who I want to be and who I am, this is what I can see; a young adult, aspiring to be a successful and well-matured man. Inside, I feel inadequate, hopeless and taken.
It has been 7 months since I found out about my best friend (and brother in-law) and my partner - at the time - had cheated on me and lied about it for several months. Looking back over the time since, I noticed that I grew into myself. I found it hard to communicate, be socialable or even walk out the house in the mornings. Without trying to gain sympathy or looking for resolution, these are things that I felt and went through, I hope you can find resolution yourself through my issues and that I can offer some sort of help.
Sitting here today, I can tell I am still far from finding myself once again. Through the stress and strains of coming to terms with what happened, to rebuilding friendships and attempting other relationships – I have found that I was never as strong as I once thought I was.
If you had asked my friends before this, many would have told you I was a happy go-lucky sort of person with a kind and sensitive nature, always listening and being there for my friends when they needed me. Ask them the same question now and I am sure their response would be very different. A lot of my friends often comment on how I look tired, worn out, down or simply just not myself any more.
Going through something like what I did makes you really question how you see people and what they mean to you. It is harder to trust the people you once thought you could because any sense of trust and moral fibre is shattered, your self confidence and self worth is destroyed, obliterated into a thousand unrecoverable pieces. Personally, I felt lost, betrayed and essentially a total wreck.
Sitting here typing now, I would honestly say that I do still love my ex-partner. Even though he did what he did, somehow I always see through and remember what our relationship was actually like. During the latter half, things were difficult due to his own personal medical problems – but I strived to help him through that. I wanted to give everything I had to him and I truly believe I have done. From doing so, I can understand now why coming out the other end has and is so difficult for me – everything I had given had been totally disregarded in one swift act of deceit.
In addition, having been best friends and a brother in-law to my partner’s infidelity slip-up for 6 years – the shattering of my trust was inevitable. Only now I can truly admit and see the effect the lying and cheating had on me and how incredibly hard it is to admit and understand.
If you have ever been in a similar or worse situation as me, I would strongly suggest finding help. Holding in such emotion and self-doubt is one of the most difficult and damaging things a person can do, not to mention the effect it has on your friends and family around you – no doubt any potential partners you encounter too. Like I did – I would suggest some sort of counselling. Even if it is just for a single session to get it all out, it will be invaluable to you. For me, expressing everything that has happened to someone disconnected to your life gave me the porthole to express how I truly felt on the situation – the ability to say things you would never tell anyone else. They are not there to give extensive advice, but just to listen and ask questions to help you realise how you are feeling and what the best course of action is for you.
Aside of these problems, I am also struggling to come to terms with a problem I have had for almost 4 years now. Anxiety. This disorder is common but often not spoken about or educated. For anyone struggling with anxiety – the symptoms are often confusing and not obvious. My problems first began where I would throw up after almost every meal – I didn’t want to, I just did. After a while, I would become so nervous that I was going to throw up, that I would do. I couldn’t control it. However, it slowed down a fair bit and I could limit it to only when I was out for meals or when I was with friends. Still, not the most pleasant thing to go through. I had no idea what was wrong with me, I thought I might have some sort of disease, a cancer, stomach bug, being dependant on alcohol, allergic to all foods. These thoughts never exited my mind for about the 3 and half years I had to live with it.
In addition to this, I’d always be constantly looking in the mirror, making sure every last strand of hair was in the right place – that my clothes looked good and that I was wearing enough concealer to cover my worst spots and blemishes. A massive insecurity I had with myself, but I was there and never going to leave me because if I didn’t look right – I wouldn’t be able to cope in any social situation – be it from a family meal to watching a movie with a friend.
Eventually, after I found out about my ex and my brother in-law, I decided enough was enough. I went to the doctors and was tested for stomach bugs and my blood levels were checked to see if I had any sort of disease. Eventually, my results came back and I was told I had a psychological disorder and they booked me in for a therapy session straight away.
The therapist asked me a lot of in-depth questions and I took a questionnaire to discover if I had depression and other such mental issues. Probing deeper into my personal life and discovering things I had completely forgotten about and suppressed, we went on to do a few simple activities and my therapist discovered that I suffer from GAD – General Anxiety Disorder. I had no idea that that is what it was and I burst into tears. I finally had an answer to my problem and it fit perfectly into my symptoms.
To date, I’ve been put onto a waiting list to receive high-intensity therapy and I’ve been given various exercises to perform to help reduce the anxious side effects.
This blog post is not a way for me to get sympathy or further help – I want you to understand that this is something I have been through, had problems with, dealt with largely on my own and discovered a way out and I hope that by sharing my problems with you, one day you too can take the first step to discover what has you troubled like I have. Therefore, I am very thankful for the advice, support and help from my friends and family – not to mention my Mum, Tim, Naomi, Georgie, Ross, Jodie and Craig for putting up with me through such a difficult time in my life. Thank you.
I wish you all the best of luck, and please get in touch if you wish to ask any questions or require advice.
Useful resources that I found worth reading are:
http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk
Attitude Magazine – September 2010. “Gay and Happy” Article
http://www.reep-therapies.com
www.counselling-directory.org.uk
http://www.ntu.ac.uk/sss/counselling_service/
Posted on 28/08/10 at 14:36
As I sit here writing in the window of my modest flat in Nottingham, I am confronted by my reflection in the window and on my laptop screen. The bright sunshine is casting down on my open arms. I am wearing nothing but a black vest and shorts. My hair is undone and I have a 5-day-old beard on my face.
Stuck between the stereotypes of who I want to be and who I am, this is what I can see; a young adult, aspiring to be a successful and well-matured man. Inside, I feel inadequate, hopeless and taken.
It has been 7 months since I found out about my best friend (and brother in-law) and my partner - at the time - had cheated on me and lied about it for several months. Looking back over the time since, I noticed that I grew into myself. I found it hard to communicate, be socialable or even walk out the house in the mornings. Without trying to gain sympathy or looking for resolution, these are things that I felt and went through, I hope you can find resolution yourself through my issues and that I can offer some sort of help.
Sitting here today, I can tell I am still far from finding myself once again. Through the stress and strains of coming to terms with what happened, to rebuilding friendships and attempting other relationships – I have found that I was never as strong as I once thought I was.
If you had asked my friends before this, many would have told you I was a happy go-lucky sort of person with a kind and sensitive nature, always listening and being there for my friends when they needed me. Ask them the same question now and I am sure their response would be very different. A lot of my friends often comment on how I look tired, worn out, down or simply just not myself any more.
Going through something like what I did makes you really question how you see people and what they mean to you. It is harder to trust the people you once thought you could because any sense of trust and moral fibre is shattered, your self confidence and self worth is destroyed, obliterated into a thousand unrecoverable pieces. Personally, I felt lost, betrayed and essentially a total wreck.
Sitting here typing now, I would honestly say that I do still love my ex-partner. Even though he did what he did, somehow I always see through and remember what our relationship was actually like. During the latter half, things were difficult due to his own personal medical problems – but I strived to help him through that. I wanted to give everything I had to him and I truly believe I have done. From doing so, I can understand now why coming out the other end has and is so difficult for me – everything I had given had been totally disregarded in one swift act of deceit.
In addition, having been best friends and a brother in-law to my partner’s infidelity slip-up for 6 years – the shattering of my trust was inevitable. Only now I can truly admit and see the effect the lying and cheating had on me and how incredibly hard it is to admit and understand.
If you have ever been in a similar or worse situation as me, I would strongly suggest finding help. Holding in such emotion and self-doubt is one of the most difficult and damaging things a person can do, not to mention the effect it has on your friends and family around you – no doubt any potential partners you encounter too. Like I did – I would suggest some sort of counselling. Even if it is just for a single session to get it all out, it will be invaluable to you. For me, expressing everything that has happened to someone disconnected to your life gave me the porthole to express how I truly felt on the situation – the ability to say things you would never tell anyone else. They are not there to give extensive advice, but just to listen and ask questions to help you realise how you are feeling and what the best course of action is for you.
Aside of these problems, I am also struggling to come to terms with a problem I have had for almost 4 years now. Anxiety. This disorder is common but often not spoken about or educated. For anyone struggling with anxiety – the symptoms are often confusing and not obvious. My problems first began where I would throw up after almost every meal – I didn’t want to, I just did. After a while, I would become so nervous that I was going to throw up, that I would do. I couldn’t control it. However, it slowed down a fair bit and I could limit it to only when I was out for meals or when I was with friends. Still, not the most pleasant thing to go through. I had no idea what was wrong with me, I thought I might have some sort of disease, a cancer, stomach bug, being dependant on alcohol, allergic to all foods. These thoughts never exited my mind for about the 3 and half years I had to live with it.
In addition to this, I’d always be constantly looking in the mirror, making sure every last strand of hair was in the right place – that my clothes looked good and that I was wearing enough concealer to cover my worst spots and blemishes. A massive insecurity I had with myself, but I was there and never going to leave me because if I didn’t look right – I wouldn’t be able to cope in any social situation – be it from a family meal to watching a movie with a friend.
Eventually, after I found out about my ex and my brother in-law, I decided enough was enough. I went to the doctors and was tested for stomach bugs and my blood levels were checked to see if I had any sort of disease. Eventually, my results came back and I was told I had a psychological disorder and they booked me in for a therapy session straight away.
The therapist asked me a lot of in-depth questions and I took a questionnaire to discover if I had depression and other such mental issues. Probing deeper into my personal life and discovering things I had completely forgotten about and suppressed, we went on to do a few simple activities and my therapist discovered that I suffer from GAD – General Anxiety Disorder. I had no idea that that is what it was and I burst into tears. I finally had an answer to my problem and it fit perfectly into my symptoms.
To date, I’ve been put onto a waiting list to receive high-intensity therapy and I’ve been given various exercises to perform to help reduce the anxious side effects.
This blog post is not a way for me to get sympathy or further help – I want you to understand that this is something I have been through, had problems with, dealt with largely on my own and discovered a way out and I hope that by sharing my problems with you, one day you too can take the first step to discover what has you troubled like I have. Therefore, I am very thankful for the advice, support and help from my friends and family – not to mention my Mum, Tim, Naomi, Georgie, Ross, Jodie and Craig for putting up with me through such a difficult time in my life. Thank you.
I wish you all the best of luck, and please get in touch if you wish to ask any questions or require advice.
Useful resources that I found worth reading are:
http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk
Attitude Magazine – September 2010. “Gay and Happy” Article
http://www.reep-therapies.com
www.counselling-directory.org.uk
http://www.ntu.ac.uk/sss/counselling_service/
